Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Just to take Him at His Word. Just to know His loving presence. Just to say, “thus says the Lord.”
A couple of weeks ago, I was praying (for days on end) that God would remind me that “He’s got this!” I have peace about Kirk’s job situation and peace about the trip to Uganda. But I kept praying, “God you’ve done so much for me already and you’ve written an entire book for me to read about how much you love me, but could you just show me again how much you love me.” I felt selfish asking again, “prove your love to me.” I spent hours each day reminding myself of all He has already done for me throughout my life, reading the Bible about all He has done throughout history. Yet still I had the audacity to ask again, “God, show me again that you’re in this and you’re working for my good.”
While writing my last blog post, I was planning to ask my readers if they wanted to donate and support the cost of the trip. But God told me, “NO! Don’t ask.” So I obeyed.
One day in school, a rep came to promote their NCLEX review course. She announced that she would do a drawing at the end, she didn’t say what the prize would be. I prayed, “God, if you love me, let me win.” Immediately I felt profound guilt. How dare I demand that of God and put Him in a corner. If He didn’t have my name drawn, would I really doubt His love, NO. So I repented and told Him it wasn’t fair, and that I know He loves me. Guess what, my name was drawn! I won a small gift card to Subway.
I thought, “wow God, you didn’t have to do that. Thank you! ” Little did I know He had so much more in store. That night, I got home from school opened the mail and there was a card from a friend with a gift certificate for the EXACT number of tires we needed for our van. We don’t need a full set, but I hadn’t said in my previous post what we needed. But God knew and He sent that amount. It reminds me of the Israelites getting manna each day. Only enough for that day, except on Saturdays when they could gather enough for Sunday too.
I am so grateful to God for continuing to remind me that His hand is in this. And this selfish girl will continue to ask Him to “remind me again that you’ve got this”. And I’m grateful that He listens patiently and shows me again, despite all the previous proof I can look to, He takes the time to show me again.
“Oh what I would do have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in, onto the crashing waves.” Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief!